Preparing for Divorce: Tips for Men

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If you are going through a divorce, then there are several steps that you need to take in order to protect both yourself and your property.  The unfortunate fact is that many divorces are initiated by women, and it is entirely possible that a judge will order all assets to be split equally and also decide that you need to pay maintenance, regardless of what your income is or who earned the money that is now being shared out.  However, by taking some steps now, you can start to protect your assets and be able to retain them after the divorce.


  • Find a good divorce lawyer.  This is the first thing that you need to do, and it is also one of the most important.  A good lawyer will dramatically increase your chances of a desirable outcome.  This will involve an initial consultation so that they can gain an understanding of the situation, and then you will need to pay the retainer fee.

  • Make your decision about whether you are going to fight for custody of any children that you have.  If you are intending to do this, then you should start to keep a record of when you see the children and what you do.  If you are not living in the family home and your ex is supposed to bring them to you regularly, make a note of any visits that have been missed.  You will have a stronger case if you do remain in the family home, but this will not always be possible, and a judge should take this into account.

  • After children, one of the biggest issues to be settled in the event of a divorce is money.  If your spouse is requesting alimony and child support, don’t immediately agree to what she is asking.  The amounts to be paid can be negotiated, particularly when it comes to alimony.  The best thing you can do is have an accurate record of your finances, including your current salary and your essential outgoings.  This will help to ensure that you are not being asked to pay more than you can reasonably afford.

  • How the property is going to be divided is another key issue that will need to be addressed.  Until this has been decided, you need to keep up your share off the mortgage payments on the house, regardless of whether or not you are presently living there.  This ensures that you still have an interest in the property, so the judge will be less likely to award it entirely to your wife.  It may be necessary to sell the house and split the proceeds between you.  Ideally, you should try to settle this between you, perhaps with the help of your lawyers, without having to go to court.

These are just some of the main issues that will need to be addressed in the event of a divorce – there are others that have not been considered here.  Discuss the situation with your lawyer in order to obtain more advice about what to do.

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Tim Roberts has 29 articles online

Rick Banks has been a practicing divorce litigator and mediator for over 25 years and the author of Win Your Divorce - Emotionally, Socially and Financially.  You'll find more articles from Rick on his website and blog

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Preparing for Divorce: Tips for Men

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This article was published on 2013/06/26
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